My Heart Is a Flower

Source : Email

ATM FUNNY STUFF

Difference between men and women when getting cash from an ATM

Men

1. Drive to the bank, park, go to the cash dispenser
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip

Women

1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phonecard back in handbag
12. Look for bank card
13. Insert card
14. Look for the chit (where secret code written) in handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct code
21. Enter huge amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter large amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter smaller amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Get out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE!!
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake
47. Stop at mall
48. Spend money
49. Go back to step 1

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Source : E-mail

Tips for Working Hard

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.

People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.

Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.


2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.

When you get caught by your boss -and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.


3. Messy desk.

Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.

To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.

Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


4. Voice Mail.

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.

If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.

One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.


6. Appear to Work Late.

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read, but have no time until late before leaving.


7. Creative Sighing for Effect.

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.


8. Stacking Strategy.

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc... You can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.


9. Build Vocabulary.

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products.

Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.


10. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

..........क्या चीज है यह जिंदगी ?

जिस राह से भी गुजरे 

एक नाम सुना जिंदगी |

हमने भी चाहा कोई हमको बता दे 

क्या चीज है यह जिंदगी |

थके हुए राही ने कहा 

रुकना ही है जिंदगी 

अपाहिज ने कहा 

चलना ही है जिंदगी |

गरीबी में तड़पते हुए ने कहा 

पैसा ही है जिंदगी  |

खुशियों में डूबे किसी ने कहा 

प्यार ही प्यार है जिंदगी  |

मगर कोई हमसे भी तो पूछे 

क्या चीज है जिंदगी 

........पर मैं समझता हूँ 

ठोकर खाकर संभल जाने का नाम ही  है 

..................शायद जिंदगी |

 

courtesy : sanjaybhaskar.blogspot.com/

I am Bihar

I am the history of India
I gave the world its first Republic
I nourished Buddha to enlightenment
I gave world its best ancient university
My son Chanakya was the father of Economics
Mahavir came out of my womb to found Jainism
My son Valmiki wrote Ramayan, the greatest Epic
Rishi Shushrut, the father of surgery, lived on my soil
My son Vatsayana wrote Kamasutra, the treatise of love
My son Ashoka – The Great was the greatest ruler of India
I gave birth to Aryabhatt, the great ancient mathematician
I gave Ashoka Chakra that adorns India's national flag
My son Dinkar is the national poet of India
I gave the world its first Yoga University
I gave India its first president
I am the land of festivals
I am brotherhood
I am humility
I am the past
I am the future
I am opportunity
I am revolution
I am culture
I am heritage
I am intellect
I am farmer
I am power
I am literature
I am poetry
I am love
I am heart
I am soul
I am yoga
I am global
I am inspiration
I am freedom
I am force
I am destiny

I am Bihar
...Come with your dream
I will make it a reality

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Courtesy & Copyright © Mayank Krishna ::|:: iambihar.blogspot.com

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Symptoms of Being in Love